I was born with cerebral palsy, which meant I've always walked with crutches, and got treated differently. I did not feel good about myself or my life for a long time. Ted Kennedy really nailed it when he said that disability creates a negative feedback loop and it's hard to get out of because there is no stop point on that loop unless there is some kind of active intervention. Art and music helped me turn that loop off. So much so, that someone recently told me I am the happiest person they know!
I've come a long way, and it's true I am loving life. On deeper reflection, I have my disability to thank for that. Like it or not my sadness about myself and my disability pushed me to create, to try to love even my suffering, to redirect my emotions. Otherwise, I would not be here now. I tell this story in my upcoming book: The Beloved Equation.
My joy in music and art saved me. While my paintings do not mediate directly on my lived experience of disability, they are very much a beautiful and empowering outcome of the desire to transform how I felt inside about myself. The music I listened to, gave me space away from my own thoughts and fears, and painting music gave me a direction back to life!
If you haven't already, take a look at my art portfolio here!
- Marina
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